Hierarchy

No two Thais can meet without sizing up the other and trying to determine their relative social heights. Mostly this quick-fire analysis of the other person is focused on determining the age of that person.

It is important for my wife to quickly evaluate a stranger she meets in an Asian Supermarket, a Thai gathering or anywhere else that she might meet other Thais and decide what their age is. This will determine how she addresses this stranger. If the person is definitely younger then he/she is Nong (younger). This means that it is not necessary to address her with any sort of title. It is definitely not necessary to Wai a younger person like this. Mam found it amusing the way I Waied all members of her family to show respect. Doing this will not be frowned upon or ridiculed but found to be mildly funny and slightly flattering but unnecessary.

If it is clear that the new person you have just met is about the same age as you then you can choose to call them Pii. If unsure about someone’s age most Thais will choose to call a stranger Pii out of respect. If it later becomes clear that this person is about 5 years older than you then you will be required to call this person Pii and Wai them.

If it is clear that the other person is more than 10 years older than you then the title you have to address them by is Na, if more then 20 years then it is Ba for women and Lung for men and finally if the person is clearly very senior then he/she has to be addressed with Yai for women and Da for men.

This basic social etiquette permeates traditional Thai society. Power and money are clearly also strong factors in determining relative status, and again Thais have a very direct and unsubtle way of determining someone’s wealth and power. Since it determines so much social interaction Thais usually put their wealth on show.

Therefore, in an initial meeting (if all goes well) one agrees to be the patron (to gain respect), the other to be patronised (to gain new opportunities). Better yet, they may see each other as true equals, and thus become friends. By adhering to customs about who to Wai and not to Wai it is clear that most Thais believe that this status system is both right and obvious.

The Thai hierarchical ordering of things means each person must work out the pattern for him- or herself. The backside of this way of ordering society can be seen in the way some Thais behave when queuing or not queuing for a bus in Thailand. It is assumed that if you are queuing for a bus then you must invariably be on the same level as everyone else in that "queue". With no clear order of rank to determine who should go first everyone can get into a clamour against their fellow equals. But otherwise, aside from this anti-social behaviour it must be said that the Thai notions of hierarchy has fostered a society where natural affability and grace has promoted Thailand as a top tourist destination known for its friendly and welcoming people.

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